Leading with Curiosity and Bridging Divides, with Mónica Guzmán

Behind the Episode
Written By Tom Lietz

In this episode of Storylinking, I had the privilege of speaking with Mónica Guzmán, Senior Fellow for Public Practice at Braver Angels, author of I Never Thought of It That Way, and host of A Braver Way. Mónica’s work on bridging cultural and political divides is deeply inspiring. She shows us how small acts of curiosity and intentional conversation can lead to stronger connections and a more connected world.

“ There’s a tension between being safe and being seen. And if we take ourselves out of sight, how is anyone else going to see us? Their stories about us are going to cement too, and they’re not going to be the true stories. We need enough people with the broad experiences of America to take the risk to be seen.”
— Mónica Guzmán

This idea that curiosity can help us move beyond assumptions and stereotypes is central to Mónica’s work with Braver Angels and the ethos of her book and podcast.

Curiosity is an essential tool for leaders and storytellers working to create meaningful connections. It’s not just about asking questions but about engaging with people in a way that uncovers complexity and nuance. By stepping into someone else’s perspective, we can find shared humanity and open doors to connections we might otherwise miss.

How did we become so divided?

We’re increasingly feeling disconnected in our communities, and that disconnect isn’t random. It stems from factors that are becoming common across our country. In our conversation, Mónica referenced what she calls the SOS of sorting, othering, and siloing—a framework she also unpacks in her book, I Never Thought of It That Way.

  • Sorting refers to the way we increasingly surround ourselves with people who think, act, and live like us, narrowing our exposure to different perspectives.

  • Othering happens when we see those who are different as outsiders or even threats, leading to mistrust and dehumanization.

  • Finally, siloing is the process of isolating ourselves within echo chambers, where our existing beliefs are reinforced instead of challenged. Together, these forces create significant barriers to understanding, making it harder to build connections and find common ground.

“Sorting, othering, and siloing, that’s been ravaging our communities,” Mónica explained. “Sorting in particular, blue zip codes are getting bluer, red zip codes are getting redder, we’re consolidating our communities around politics, and we are giving ourselves then fewer opportunities to interact with people who truly think differently.” These forces create barriers that make understanding and connection harder to achieve.

For community leaders, this presents a major challenge. Retreating into silos cuts us off from perspectives that could expand our understanding and strengthen our communities. Reconnecting starts with curiosity: about what we’re missing, who we’re not listening to, and the perspectives that challenge our own.

Getting curious

Mónica encourages us to notice our "curiosity gaps," that is: the space between what we assume and what we could actually learn if we take the time to ask and listen. "Curiosity is the knowledge emotion," Monica explains. "You're only curious as long as your attention is on the gap between what you know and what you want to know. There are so many things that can distract you from that gap." But when we stay engaged, curiosity becomes a tool for discovery. 

I take this perspective on curiosity as a challenge to all of us individuals, but also as leaders and storytellers. We have to tell stories that encourage curiosity. Instead of defaulting to comfortable answers or familiar narratives, we should use storytelling to keep our attention on the gaps and places where learning and connection can grow.

So if a story is to serve as a spark for curiosity, what’s the next step? How do we move from curiosity to meaningful engagement, and who’s going to facilitate that conversation?

How our organizations can support dialogue

Braver Angels is an organization dedicated to bridging divides, offering a compelling model for building connection in a polarized society. Their first event, led by co-founder Bill Doherty, a marriage and family therapist, brought together equal numbers of Trump and Clinton voters in a small Ohio town after the 2016 election. Participants engaged in structured conversations designed to promote listening and understanding.

Today, Mónica Guzmán continues this work as Senior Fellow for Public Practice with Braver Angels. She designs and leads programs that encourage understanding across divides. As she describes, “We have more than 50 different offerings, workshops, skill-building trainings, and then our signature virtual debates… People will actually hear each other and emerge with a much more nuanced understanding.”

This type of intentional dialogue can reshape how people engage with differing perspectives. Further, the approach of Braver Angels offers a valuable model for any type whose work depends on a sense of community.

“It's really hard to lead a group toward curiosity when you're not actually being curious yourself,” Mónica explains. “You have to believe that there's something to learn. If you don't drill down enough in your organization, you're gonna make stupid products. You're gonna miss something obvious.”

When leaders create environments where people feel safe sharing their experiences while being open to discomfort and complexity, the impact can be transformative. If we set ground rules, ensure balance, and encourage curiosity, we have an opportunity as leaders to build trust and collaboration across communities and organizations.

Repairing trust and rebuilding connection

Many leaders first explore bridging divides when faced with an urgent crisis or a growing rift in their community. Unfortunately, there aren’t many clear models for navigating this type of work effectively. “As a society, we tend to see a lot of rupture,” Mónica Guzmán explains. “We put it on TV, you know. But we never see repair.”

“There’s a rupture and repair cycle,” she continues. “Repair happens when we intentionally address misunderstandings, rebuild trust, and remain committed to connection despite the challenges.”

Repairing trust isn’t a quick fix: it’s an ongoing process that asks leaders to stay engaged. That requires:

  • Stepping into discomfort. “If we take ourselves out of sight, how is anyone else going to see us?” Mónica asks. Avoid the temptation to retreat when trust is broken. Engaging with discomfort and showing up in moments of tension is the first step to rebuilding connection.

  • Challenging your own assumptions. Our natural tendencies to group up, push others away, and reinforce familiar narratives make it harder to truly understand others. Instead of assuming motives, slow down and ask questions like, “What’s important to you about this?”

  • Encouraging open disagreement. “If you don’t drill down enough in your organization, you’re gonna make stupid products. You’re gonna miss something obvious,” Mónica warns. Healthy conflict helps communities surface new ideas and solutions. Leaders can build trust by creating spaces where disagreement is safe and constructive.

  • Committing to consistency. Repair doesn’t happen in a single moment. Small, steady actions like following through on promises, listening to all voices, and maintaining openness build the credibility needed to restore trust over time.

When leaders model and encourage these practices, they create opportunities for relationships and ideas to grow in ways that can help to heal communities.

Bridging for collective impact

Sometimes, the challenge isn’t just repairing trust but expanding it, bringing in new perspectives to tackle shared problems. Community builders often think of this as growth, but if we approach that growth with an intent to bridge, we can draw in people who have different experiences and strengths from our own. These new perspectives can help our communities to address tough challenges in entirely new ways.

Engaging beyond your usual comfort zones can unlock collaboration and collective impact. It starts with small moments of curiosity that build trust and create pathways for shared understanding. That can look like:

  • Starting small. Big alliances begin with small conversations. Start by asking someone outside your typical circle, “How did you come to see it that way?” Focus on listening without judgment.

  • Looking for shared values. Even with people who disagree with you, there’s likely common ground. Seek out the values and goals you share, and use them as a foundation for collaboration.

  • Expanding your circle. Bridging isn’t about staying in one community. It’s about making your community bigger. Invite people with different perspectives and expertise into the conversation—they can bring fresh ideas and approaches you hadn’t considered.

  • Leading with curiosity. Mónica reminds us that bridging requires openness. “Curiosity is the knowledge emotion,” she says. “It’s what keeps us from assuming we already know everything.” Stay curious, and others will follow your example.

Bridging is outreach. If we redefine our communities, we’ll unlock new opportunities for collaboration.

The stories we can tell, together

Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools we have to build connection. Mónica Guzmán’s work shows that when we approach conversations with a genuine desire to understand, we create space for deeper relationships and stronger communities. Every story begins with the willingness to listen and learn.

As community builders, we can use storytelling to bring people together in meaningful ways. Stories told with honesty and openness help us uncover new perspectives, navigate complexity, and find shared purpose. They move beyond surface-level narratives, offering the nuance we need to address challenges and build trust.

So, where could curiosity take you today? Consider starting a conversation with someone whose perspective you’ve struggled to understand. Ask questions like, “What’s most important to you about this?” or “How did you come to see it this way?” Then listen. These small steps can lead to bigger connections and shared stories that strengthen your community.

Additional Resources

Tom Lietz
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